Senior Thai rice officials are offering gentle persuasion to the rice farmers of Thailand to change their farming techniques to hydroponics. Senior Third Lieutenant Somchai of Division 6 raced to the scene and said today that all rice farmers are being ordered as of 2013 to grow the rice hydroponically as the Government can guarantee ideal conditions across the country for hydroponics with ideal flood conditions.
He said it is actually a very simple technique, that when the politicians stop arguing over who gets to supply the little foam blocks that will initially support the seeds to and the plant that it will be very easy for the farmers. He said that will actually be easier on the farmers seven times and will help their backs, as they will not have to bend over any longer to plant the seedlings into the ground as they can prepare them on a table and the plants can just float in the floods.
Senior Third Lieutenant Somchai of Division 6 said it will help selected business as a vast amount of water will now have to be over fertilized by fertilizer. He went on to say the only one fertilizer will be suitable for application and legal to use, at the time of print the Government was still arguing over who will get this right. He commented that they shall know in the next few days when Parliament is free from their debates regarding whether NASA can use Thailand as a base for climate studies that was canceled several months ago due to delays in approval. Selected approved academics that are alined with the Government pointed out that the poor farmers might not actually need to buy approved fertilizer as during the floods there should be enough shit in the water to feed the floating rice plants.
Green groups have expressed concern of this ridiculous amounts of fertilizer draining when the flood ends into the rivers and causing
enormous amounts of algal blooms. Senior Third Lieutenant Somchai of Division 6 said do not worry about that, we already have the clean up planned. Billions of white foam squares will be required to support the plants during the floods, all we have to do is dump these into the rivers and they will floats along the top and maybe the algae will stick to them, this is not polluting the rivers, it's a environmentally friendly way of recycling toxic foam and letting it float away eventually into the ocean and ecosystem.